Its Just A Matter Of Faith!

Life is hard. We really don't know what each day is going to bring. One day we are living to pay the bills and the next we may be facing something so terrible and horrible we think there is no way we will even survive the hour. But somehow we miraculously do. Somehow we find some kind of strength to make it through just one more hour. Somehow we learn to accept life as it is: hard, difficult, unfair, and down right humorous. 

I suppose that if we live in a world full of sinners it would make sense that our life is going to be full of disappointments and hardships. It doesn't matter how much money you make or how beautiful you are or whether you are famous and popular among your peers-- life is sometimes so unbelievably difficult that it feels like death is better than the pain and suffering we are called to endure. 

But its just that very thought that makes it even harder to endure... why are we called to carry such burdens? Isn't this the reason why so many people refuse to believe in a good God and seek him? Why seek a God who calls us to suffering and pain? Why build a relationship with someone who lets little children endure the pain of their parents divorce or go through terminal illnesses? How can God be so good when there is so much evil? Wouldn't a good God DO something about all of this evil? Wouldn't a good God come in and intervene? Wouldn't a good God stop all the madness? 

I just witnessed (spied) on my neighbor crying her eyes out because she is going through a divorce. I don't know the details, but I know that she is hurting. She is in need of some comfort, some ease, some peace. I wanted to go out there and give her a hug. I wanted to tell her that everything is going to be okay, even though I really don't know for sure. I mean, sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.... right? But what if I had gone out there and hugged her and told her everything was going to be alright? And what if I did better than that? What if I fixed all of her problems for her. What if I could make her husband stay and not divorce her? What if I could even fix all of her financial problems? All of her emotional problems? Heck, why don't I just make everything go her way all of the time so she won't have to worry about anything anymore! Why don't I make her PERFECT! Wouldn't that be great? 

Somehow, I don't think so. I think that if I did all of that, I would be taking something away from her. I don't know if I will do justice to what I am about to say because what I am about to say is only a reflection of my own experiences. I don't have any right answers or solutions, but I can only relate to this through what I have been through. Watching her cry like that reminded me of those days I too cried like that. I grieved over my lost childhood because of my alcoholic father. I had to release my anger and resentment. I had to cry and suffer--endure the pain that all of that brought me. For years I stuffed inside the frustration and anger towards my dad, my mom, my family, society, and yes even God. I denied my anger, and sorrow for many years-mostly towards God. I thought it was evil and sinful to get angry at God, but deep down inside I was. The more I denied it, the more I became less alive-lost within myself. I couldn't see any of my problems as they were: they were always bigger and more intimidating than they really were. I blamed everyone else for my misery. "If only she.... If only he.... then..." That was how I thought. I thought that if I was better, or if people would just understand and be more obedient than life would be.... easier. 

But that was my mistake. Life is not meant to be easy. Every time I start to think that life "ought to be" something, I fall into that place of self-pity and despair. Every time I want to make my life "easier" I end up making it harder. And when I try and make it "easier" for someone else, I interfere with what God is trying to do in that person's life. I'm not saying I should hold back my hand of compassion, I am saying that it is not within my power to "do" something for the other person to feel less pain or make their life comfortable. Sometimes all we can do is offer a hug, or say a silent prayer for them. Sometimes we have to let go and let them feel the discomfort of life. We have to let the tears come. We have to let them get angry and sometimes even at God. God can handle it. 

There was a time in my life I didn't think I was going to make it. I fought and fought against the reality of the suffering it brings, and so I was missing out on all the joy it brings too. I have cried and I have suffered, I have felt the pain and I have known defeat, but here I am alive, living, and grateful for EVERYTHING! Grateful! Yes, even for the pain, for the suffering, for the despair, because those things have taught me the most valuable things of all: perseverance, patience, love, compassion, and it taught me who I am! 

One day my neighbor will wake up like any other ordinary day, but she will be stronger, more confident, and a little more mature in her walk. To not know suffering is to not know strength. To not know suffering, is to not know Jesus. To not know suffering, is to not know God. To not know suffering is to not know life! 

It might not make any sense. But who says it has to? Its just a matter of faith! Faith in God, in Jesus and the work done on the cross, and in yourself. Its a lot more risky to have faith in yourself, but somehow, we are not as bad off as we think we are. 

Turn The Other Cheek?

Yes, there is a lot of conflict in my life right now... but does that mean it should take over my whole life? 

But conflict is a part of life. The fact that I over react to it is just a sign of how much I am fighting against powers beyond my control. My constant self-pity and worrying is only a symbol of how unaccepting I am with what life has to offer. In other words, because I think life "ought" to be a certain way, I throw a little fit when it doesn't go that certain way. I throw my hands up and ask questions like "Why?" and say things like, "It's not fair," or "What about..." All I can do at that moment is think about being victimized. I don't see the lessons that are being given to me. I don't see the value of learning humility. When all I can see is the horror of conflict and its ugly ramifications I loose out on what is really being given to me. 

I am not a victim. I am responsible for what I say and do. It doesn't matter what the other person says or does to me or to themselves or the world. Jesus taught his disciples to turn the other cheek and not fight back. But my concern is that isn't it important to let the other person know when they are stepping on my toes? Isn't it my responsibility to set a boundary and let them know that what they do and say "hurts?" I don't have to step on their toes back. I don't have to yell or belittle the person, just tell them that they are beyond my boundaries... right? 

Well, sometimes us humans are very good at coming up with great ways to deal with life. We have written millions upon millions of books on how to deal with life. We know all the answers when it comes to how to do this or that, or what the meaning of this or that is... But when you are out there in the real world, it isn't that easy to practice all those theories. It's funny because I thought I was doing a great job turning the other cheek. But in doing so, I somehow lost a sense of my dignity and respect. Letting people walk all over me and becoming a door mat is not a fulfilling life at all. So this new conflict in my life is not to remind me that I am a useless victim, but is teaching me that I need to start redefining "turn the other cheek." 

I'm not sure today what that means exactly. But in time as I practice some skills I suppose I will learn. Learning to communicate effectively is important, and that is something I need to work on. Perhaps a simple "ouch!" is needed, and maybe I just need to develop a backbone and stick up for myself. Otherwise, if I don't have any respect for myself, how will others respect me? After all, life is supposed to be full of conflict, and the sooner I accept that, the more I will be at peace with myself and the world. 

What to do?

What do you do when you feel like nobody is listening to you? That nobody seems to care about what is going on around them and you? What do you say when injustice is being dished out? What do you do when your enemies have the upper hand? What do you do when you are out numbered?